The Fist of Haruhi
by Killer300
Summary: Kyon is a violent criminal? Haruhi a calm martial artist but still with paranormal beliefs? And what will Haruhi's dad be like as a Science Teacher at North High? Find out all of this and more in this high energy tale. Please read and review.
1. Punk Kyon

Punk Kyon

With a roundhouse kick to the face, I had won yet another conflict with a huge gang. This gang had 36 people in it, and I had beaten up everyone single one of them by myself. I had learnt martial arts the hard way, through trial and error. I did have help from a homeless person of all things, however that didn't last long because Yukuza killed him. After that, I became one of the most infamous punks in Tokyo, which was helped by a Ski Mask. Yes, I have a way to disguising myself obviously, however that didn't really help with my parents unfortunately. My grades hadn't exactly been that great to begin with, and once the criminal activities started, they just tanked out into nothingness.

Yet, somehow despite my horrible grades, I somehow got a high enough grade on a recent test to get into a high school called North High, which is unfortunate for me because now I suddenly have expectations from my parents. That is something that will probably blow up in my face later, however for now I'll have to deal with it. One of my ways of dealing with stress is beating the shit out of people, hence the 36 people I had just had some fun with. Now, sadly, I must go back, so I can sleep for tomorrow, which is my first day there. I just hope I don't get bothered too much, I don't like dealing with people as it is, much less the average Japanese kid these days. I didn't care about what people thought of me anymore, however that didn't mean I liked dealing with people in school, or school itself for that matter. Not only does it bore me, but also my reputation as a brutal thug really wasn't going to help my case there.

That night, I dreamed the same dream. In it, I'm still being locked in that dark closet, hidden away from them. It doesn't matter how often I try to avoid it, I know why I'm there. I remember the sounds of my parents' voices outside, the pumping sound of a shotgun, and then the bang that signified so much. Then, the door rips open from the outside, and the figure stands in the doorway, holding the gun. I know the gun is probably illegal here, but the person has it despite this. It doesn't matter how much I plead, they'll soon fire the shotgun round at me. I will soon be killed, but then, I wake up.

Dammit, I hated that dream, mainly because it didn't make sense for me to fear it now. True, shotguns are pretty threatening, but I've dealt with guns before and have come out just fine. But now, I had a bigger problem to deal with, mainly my sister won't SHUT UP! Yeah, she is my alarm clock these days, and also the main thing my parents hold up as being affected by my bad influence. Okay, I haven't seen any effects yet, but who knows I guess. I went down, ate the breakfast of rice that still tasted so dull, and finally, left to my new school. I got to have fun hiking up the hill, which is more physically exhausting than fighting 36 people at once somehow.

When I get there, I notice that I'm noticed here, and not in a positive way either. Everyone looked terrified, which is to be expected these days. Now, I actually kind of like this because it means that most people will leave me alone. What sucks, of course, is that this makes teachers pissed with me from day one, not exactly a situation I'd like to be in. However, it's unavoidable considering my reputation, so I'll just have to deal with it, like everything else in life lately. Even with all my fighting skills, I couldn't fight any of the changes I didn't like, because luck likes being the bitch that she is by throwing you for a curveball constantly.

Now, when I entered the classroom, I got pretty much the same reaction from outside with the exception of one person, some girl who just looked bored. Can't say I blame her, I'm already more bored than people locked in rooms having nothing to do but watch paint dry for hours. But then, the teacher entered, and I knew things were about to get very interesting in ways that I didn't like.

"Class, before you all introduce each other, I'd like you all to know that I'm not exactly your average teacher. How, well, you'll find out while having me. Lets just say I've had some strange encounters in the past. My name is Arata Suzumiya, and now, I'd like you all to introduce yourselves." He then got an expecting look on his face.

Okay, what the hell? Who introduces themselves like that? What, is he saying that aliens or something have abducted him? Okay, I doubt anyone will top that, so I'll just let myself doze off until…

"My name is Haruhi Suzumiya, and unless you're a Alien, Esper, Time Traveler, or just in some other way paranormal, I don't care about you. That's all." She just sat down like nothing major had been said after that.

Okay, what the hell? Well, I guess the daughter of our strange teacher would be odd, but SERIOUSLY? Is someone going to come bolting in saying, "I hope you like rice and cookies because you need to eat this," and throw rice caked Oreo cookies at us? Well, at least I may not be as bored this year.

But actually, what happened next was oddly scary. Some chick suddenly ran in yelling, "WHOSE YOUR DADDY," while firing shotgun rounds. Except, no one else saw this so I realized I was having a very bizarre hallucination. This actually has happened before, however in those cases I was either about to collapse from injuries, or was having a rather high fever. However, those cases were very fuzzy, and I had no idea who was shooting the shotgun shells. All of these are not counting the nightmares I have occasionally, however that's only because those involve firearms.

After that… assault of bizarreness, I got to sleep for awhile in class. Well, at least until lunch when I was violently awaken by someone ramming my head into a desk. I woke up to see Haruhi as the one responsible, and she said, "Outside, NOW!"

We went outside, and I prepared myself to get into a fight. Once we were in a relatively isolated place, we started ferociously started attacking each other. I started things off by throwing a right hook at her face, which she countered by grabbing my arm and throwing me over her. At that, I got up only to be met by a flying kick to the face. I threw a punch while getting to hopefully ward off attacks, only for my fist to be gripped by Haruhi. She then gripped really hard, and then stomped my face. I finally got off the freaking ground by using a ground kick to take out her legs from under her. When I got up, she was still on the ground. So, I ran up only to have my legs taken out by a strange kick, and then, she started moving around like a drunkard. Attempts at hitting her usually were countered by suddenly falling and then getting up in a strange flurry of punches. Soon, I was on the ground once again, and Haruhi stood above looking victorious. So, I got up again, and retreated briefly before coming back to attack.

This time, it appeared Haruhi decided she wanted to stop screwing around or something because the look on her face changed from an odd look of amusement to a serious look. I ran up only to have my arm grabbed by Haruhi, and with one lock move later, my arm was broken. Then, she delivered an open palm strike to my face, knocking me out altogether.

I woke up later, and was in the hospital. The incident was blamed on a rival of mine that was now in jail. Rather convenient to say the least, but I had apparently been out for about 12 hours. Haruhi was there when I woke up. She had a look that was a mix of disappointment and frustration.

"Kyon, I could have killed you, and without much effort at that. I haven't had very much fun in awhile like that, and I thought you were just another punk that needed a lesson. However, I can tell now you can be more than that, but that better side of you is hidden beneath a mountain of crap. I also know where that crap comes from, which is you believe you're nothing but another punk and from trying to cover up past experiences. Perhaps a visitation by aliens, or time travelers, for many people including myself it's why we fight a ton. I just happened to find ways to be more constructive. I have training in a fair share of martial arts, with everything from the Drunken Fist and Akido to Karate and various types of boxing. So, I hope this has been some training in humility and perhaps lower that aggression of yours somewhat."

"Wait, how can you know me? But besides that, great job, for now I'm an open target for all my opponents." I breathed heavily for the rage I felt at this chick pulsing through my body.

"Kyon, how do you think the police found the guy I framed? I put him in the hospitals with multiple fractures, a possible concussion, and a broken leg. Do you REALLY think I'll let someone attack you? You're a project a mine now, so I won't let you get killed, even if I have to perhaps kill some people to do that. As for how I know you, well, they do say one can get to know a person by fighting him. Now, that isn't really true, however I did see a lot about you looking at your body language. You have an odd hesitation when you fight, like someone who hates to hurt people but does so because they have to. You would never show this in how you talk, or through body language under normal circumstances. However, under special circumstances, like combat in some instances, it does show. There are other ways I know about you, but these I won't reveal to you until later. For now, I have a club to form."

At that, she left, but left me there with a million questions buzzing in my head. Why did she care so much about me? How long had she known about me? Did she perhaps know what I had been staring at in my hallucination? But most of all, what in FREAKING HELL kind of club would this be? I really hope that I don't get recruited into it because that could cause serious issues. However, for now, I get to recover here in the hospital and later at home for like three months at least.

Well, after half a year in recovery with my parents making me do schoolwork still, which Haruhi delivered, and my injuries healed, I got to go back to North High. Well, it was fun, but I had done massive amounts of physical conditioning the whole time to make sure I fully recovered. That did pay off, and when I got back, I had serious problems to deal with. Haruhi had started her club, called the SOS Brigade, and had already recruited the necessary people for it. We even had a teacher that supported the club, who was of course Haruhi's dad.

Speaking of Haruhi's dad, I had learned about him while in the hospital. Okay, Haruhi had learned all of her martial arts on your own, for her dad didn't know any martial arts. What he was though apparently was a former alien abductee, or claiming to be rather, and a former college professor. The alien abduction thing caused him to get fired, which is why he was working as a high school Science professor now. Well, I guess at least we have someone that is pretty good at science, although his alien abduction thing does bring things into question.

Well, it's the night before I have to go back to North High, and my body tenses up in anticipation. Will these other club members accept me at all, or will I be shunned as the punk I am? Who knows, and I guess I'll find out tomorrow.


	2. United Beating

United Beating

I went to school and saw outside the SOS Brigade, with Haruhi grinning. There was a moeish looking girl, who I was seeing for the first time now because of my rather long absence. That chick was seemingly hiding behind a girl with grey hair who was wearing glasses. Finally, there was this smirking guy, standing on the right of Haruhi. That final one I really didn't like because he looked like one of those really annoying pretty boys girls seem to dig a lot these days.

"Alright, since you missed a lot of days, lets catch you up. I've already told you about the paranormal searching, and how it hasn't worked out. But, I haven't told you too much about your fellow teammates. First, we have Mikuru, who is a great team mascot and despite her small size is actually quite good at martial arts, specifically Aikido. Secondly, we have Itsuki, who despite his pretty boy appearance, is actually quite good at Nijitsu, however still not as good as me. Third and finally, we have Yuki, who is a master of both Karate and Tae Kwon Doe. So, as you can see, I attract martial arts masters." Haruhi then made some sort of motion to signal the others.

At that, each proceeded to beat the crap out of me. No, seriously, since I said I was out of my cast, which I was, they apparently decided it was time to beat the crap out of me. For some reason no one noticed as Mikuru threw me, Yuki delivered a rather powerful kick to my chest, and Itsuki knocked me out. Okay, Haruhi, I understand you're trying to teach me humility, but GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK! I just got out of the hospital, don't I deserve I break?

The rest of the day proceeded pretty smoothly, when I woke up 30 minutes later anyway. Yeah, I could this was going to be a LONG year, especially since I had gone through having no opponents that could beat me to four who could beat me. Not only that, but being beaten by a pretty boy is something I will simply not accept. I will train until my body falls apart before ever doing that again.

Anyway, when I got to the SOS Brigade, I discovered a freaking dojo. Apparently, the SOS Brigade doubles as a martial arts club now, which makes sense considering all of its members, have martial arts, including me. Now, mine are more street made, and apparently suck compared to the others because of that, but I'm sure I'm a better mascot for that than the others are. They may be incredible martial artists, but their bodies don't show it.

Going back to the the room it was very… interesting. There were some punching bags, padded floors, and some incense burning like a normal dojo, but there were other things. There was a computer, pretty advanced one at that, tons of posters showing everything from aliens and time travelers, to martial arts movies and firearms. That last one showed full diagrams of them describing caliber size, how they are put together, and other bits of data about them. To top things off, there was even a freaking katana, although that was hidden in a compartment. Not a fake one either, I mean one with a real ultra sharp blade. That same compartment also had numerous tools for the maintenance of the weapon.

"Kyon, while on the surface we are a simply a paranormal detective agency, that happens to double as a martial arts club, but there is more to us. In reality, we are seeking out aliens that regularly land within Tokyo!"

At that, Haruhi started running around the room talking so fast that I could barely make out everything she was saying. The gist of it was that, I think, because we were hunting dangerous aliens we had to be rather well armed. Okay, does that mean she a place loaded with firearms too?

Speaking of guns, looking back at the posters, many of them had additional information scribbled on them. One was called wounding power, which was a number that went through 1 to 3 regarding aliens. 1 was normal for a gun, 2 were above average, and 3 were total destruction of the aliens. The only guns with a 3 were a massive sniper rifle, a freaking RPG-7, and a flamethrower. The guns that got a 2 were a 12 gauge shotgun, and certain rifles with calibers like .308 and .243. Guns marked with a 1 were guns like an AKM. There was also a 0 rating, which meant the gun was not effective against aliens, and that was anything with a caliber below 7.62mm.

A second group of numbers scribbled on was a rating against, I'm not kidding here, zombies. Here, all the high scores went to sniper rifles and, for whatever reason, certain .22 weapons. The lowest numbers were given to fully automatic guns, and to guns with extremely low accuracy. The numbers emphasized accuracy and reliability, the latter is why the M16 only got an average score despite its high accuracy.

The third and final group of numbers scribbled on was a rating against robots, cyborgs or any other being made of metal or similar materials. All the high scores went to weapons with extremely high penetration and power, like the .50 BMG rifle, and a shotgun loaded with slugs. The weapons with low scores had either horrible penetration, a shotgun with buck, and any weapon using a caliber below 5.56mm typically. The M16 scored average once again, because even with penetration, the weapon's reliability issues really brought it down.

"I know she is kind of obsessed, but keep in mind that this stuff actually doe exist, however not for the reasons she thinks they do. Meet us all after school." Mikuru whispered into my ear. Considering I was pretty thoroughly confused, and couldn't see getting out of this, I decided to go along with it. After the SOS Brigade session ended, I left with the others.

We met in the park, where Itsuki said, "Kyon, Haruhi isn't just an eccentric teenage girl, she is in fact god." At that, I was suddenly pulled into another dimension, and saw giants going around wrecking everything. Yeah… this is apparently Haruhi's way of relieving stress, which was caused by seeing the Neo-Cons this morning win some victories in the election.

"Kyon, do you understand? Haruhi has the power to alter reality, however she doesn't realize it. She created aliens, zombies, and killer robots. The first and the third she blames her mother for the existence of, but she really created them. She turned her mother into a generic evil scientist, except just with a tad bit greyer morality. Why did she do this? Well… that's a complicated case you get to learn yourself."

Suddenly, Yuki said, "Kyon, the problem with Haruhi's creations is she taking them from various sci-fi anime, and low budget TV shows, while meeting a reality that is much greyer in morality. This causes the creations to be… adjusted in order for them to function in this reality. As Haruhi matured, the creations became greyer, but she is still trying far too hard to make the world more black and white. Eventually, that greyer side of morality will be exposed to her forcefully once again, and this time, she won't be able to deny it. When that happens, reality will cease to exist, for right now, she can't tolerate shades of grey."

After that, they all educated me on their origins. Mikuru was a time traveler sent to prevent massive damage to the Earth from ecological damage. The future was one of heat and flooding. The only way to prevent the damage was to utilize Haruhi's powers to alter reality for the better. Mikuru was the most radical part of the group in respect to what to do with Haruhi.

Yuki was a robot sent from a being known as the Data Integration Entity to observe Haruhi, and when the time came, kill her. She figured Haruhi was hopelessly damaged from an event that happened to her when she was younger, which no one would tell me about because it was vital Haruhi tell it to someone for some reason. Because of this damage, Yuki calculated unless Haruhi unless died, that reality itself would be destroyed along with it. She was the most conservative part of the group when it came to what to do with Haruhi.

Itsuki was an esper, and he was sent by an organization that was basically the Cult of Haruhi. I say cult because they treat Haruhi as a god more than the other two. While Mikuru treats Haruhi as a potential savior, and Yuki treats her as a person too far gone to be helped, Itsuki thinks of her as god basically. The way his organization interprets it is that Haruhi is basically the 2nd coming of Christ. His mission is to eventually reveal to Haruhi her true power, and then guide her onto to the path of being this world's god. This is still more moderate than trying to influence her towards a course of action because of how powerful she is.

At that, they let me go. Okay, one may be thinking I'm rather accepting considering the only proof I have is the alternate reality, however consider this. How many teenagers do you know that not only have training in martial arts, but are so good that they are better than most adults? Probably not very many, if any at all, therefore the real proof, in a sense, also lied in being beat the crap out of this morning with their martial arts. Mikuru probably is actually far older, perhaps practicing for years, before being transported into a younger body. Itsuki, on the other hand, perhaps has help from being an esper, allowing training that would take decades to be done in years, or maybe even months. Finally, Yuki being a robot makes martial arts extremely easy for her, all she has to do is study the movements briefly, and her body can copy them perfectly. The martial arts she studies emphasize raw power, if not very fancy at times. Besides karate and tae kwon doe, she mainly actually does boxing and similar arts because of the latter's superior efficiency at whatever it does. Being a machine, she is just looking for maximum efficiency. The reason she knows karate and tae kwon doe is to surprise people sometimes with fancier stuff, that's it. Mikuru's style makes sense because being a time traveler, she probably at most would only want to disable enemies, considering how fragile time can be. A death, even accidental, could cause massive repercussions; therefore they need a martial art that allows for one to quickly disable an enemy, without even breaking a limb hopefully. Finally, Itsuki's martial art makes sense because it allows him to take on opponents far more fit and able than him. This is important mainly because the organization has hundreds, if not thousands of enemies to deal with. Mainly, other religious organizations not exactly thrilled with the concept of their followers finding out god is exactly an eccentric teenage girl.

When I got home, I soon went to sleep, after dinner of course. However, the dinner was alone this time, with my parents gone off to work. This was actually a thankful development to me, something my parents kind of expected. When I went to bed, I soon starting dreaming.

I woke up in some sort of blizzard, in the same abandoned place I usually wake up in these dreams. It wasn't snow though in the blizzard, it was ash. Ash of everyone who had ever died, ash of all the smog pumped everyday into the atmosphere, and the ash of myself. In all this ash, the angel appears one again, looking like that dead person I know well.

"Kyon, you can't go on like this. You must accept the fate given to you some day. Sure, it was a horrible deck you were given, but you were given gifts too. You can fight, and quite well considering your circumstances. But, despite this gift, and other gifts, you keep on destroying yourself. Can you not cope, despite that life is a trip to the grave anyway?"

"Most at least get to live past 20, and even if they do, they usually don't know they'll die at that date. I know I'll die before then, and I even know how it will happen. A slow, painful death, because of something my parents have."

"Kyon… you can't waste anymore time. You know what you have to do. You have had enough time to prepare. It's time."

I knew what she was talking about. It would be a long, brutal process, and I only had one more year to pull it off. But, I had the training for it, and if my body kept in the shape it was, I would have barely enough strength to succeed. The SOS Brigade was interesting enough, but it was secondary to the main goal. If I don't get him soon, he'll lose all hope. I hope I'm strong enough…


End file.
